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sent by Mr. Ahsan saeed,
1. Dress Up
Dress up for your wife, look clean and smell good. When was the last time us men went shopping for designer pajamas? Just like the husband wants his wife to look nice for him, she too wants her husband to dress up for her. Remember that Rasulullah (Pbuh) would always start with Miswak when returning home and always loved the sweetest smells.
(Dress up for your wife when you are at home also. Some brothers only dress up when they go out and that is not a good practice. A husband should dress up for his wife when they are at home. It makes a wife feel special.).
2. Sweet Names
Use the cutest names for your wife. Rasulullah (Pbuh) had nicknames for his wives, ones that they loved. Call your wife by the most beloved names to her, and avoid using names that hurt their feelings.
(Remember, you are your wife's only boyfriend, and her only best friend. She does not go out seeking boyfriends and she shares a halal relationship with you. Love her unconditionally for the sake of Allah. And express your love to her. A woman likes to be told that she is loved. Call her from your work to make sure she is doing fine. These things are very important in a relationship) .
3. Reward Her Actions
Don't treat her like a fly. We never think about a fly in our daily lives until it "˜bugs' us. Similarly, a wife will do well all day - which brings no attention from the husband - until she does something to "˜bug' him. Don't treat her like this; recognize all the good that she does and focus on that.
(Whenever there is a fight or argument, just remember all the things she does for you. she cooks for you, she takes care of your home, she takes care of your children and the most important thing is that she guards her modesty. So do not upset her if she is upset with you. Hold her and tell her that you love her. Only your love can repel her anger. Communicate with her and discuss with her if there are any misunderstandings. )
4. Remain Silent
If you see wrong from your wife, try being silent and do not comment! This is one of the ways Rasulullah (Pbuh) used when he would see something inappropriate from his wives. It's a technique that few Muslim men have mastered.
(Do not criticize her all the time. Trust her and trust her decisions. If she is doing something that you don't like, or that goes against the teachings of Islam, then do advice her gently.)
5. Smile!
Smile at your wife whenever you see her and embrace her often. Smiling is Sadaqah and your wife is not exempt from the Muslim Ummah. Imagine life with her constantly seeing you smiling. Remember also those Ahadith when Rasulullah (Pbuh) would kiss his wife before leaving for Salah, even if he was fasting.
(Do let your wife know that you are very happy and blessed to have her. A wife always wonders how her husband feels about her. She may have some insecurity about you, so make her feel secure. Always give her a hug whenever you come back from work. Appreciate her and thank her for taking care of everything whole day).
6. Acknowledge Her
Thank her for all that she does for you. Then thank her again! Take for example a dinner at your house. She makes the food, cleans the home, and a dozen other tasks to prepare. And sometimes the only acknowledgment she receives is that there needed to be more salt in the soup. Don't let that be; thank her!
(You can thank her by writing her letters and emails. Remember, in Islam, everyday is special. So celebrate wife's day with her, and do it very often without having a particular date. She will always wonder when the wife's day is going to be. Thank her by thanking her in a family gathering.
A woman likes it when her husband gives her attention. If you visit her parents or your parents, hold her hands and tell your parents how happy you are after marriage. Give your wife an Islamic book as a gift after praying Tahajjud.
Use your imagination and think about unique gifts. Remember, she does not need a diamond, she needs your sincerity and your heart, so always give her the gifts that are thoughtful.
Whenever you do something to make her happy, observe her facial expressions and ask yourself about how you feel when you become her happiness.)
7. Be Compassionate
Do not expect too much from her when she is sick.
8. Validate her Feelings
Don't belittle her desires. Comfort her. Sometimes the men may look down upon the requests of their wives. Rasulullah (Pbuh) set the example for us in an incident when Safiyyah was crying because, as she said, he had put her on a slow camel. He wiped her tears, comforted her, and brought her the camel.
(If there is a time of sadness, give her your shoulder to cry on. Hold her and tell her that everything will be fine. Remember, a woman does not like to cry alone in a corner. She needs someone to hold her when she is sad, so never let her feel lonely. Remind her the verses from Qur'an that talks about Patience and Piety.)
9. Have Fun!
Be humorous and play games with your wife. Look at how Rasulullah (Pbuh) would race his wife Aisha in the desert. When was the last time we did something like that?
(A sense of humor plays a very important role in a marital relationship. Most women wish to have a husband who has a good sense of humor. Tell her decent and modest jokes that make her happy. A wife appreciates it very much if her husband makes her smile. You can play various games at home.
Do not spend too much time reading newspaper, and do not read newspaper on the breakfast table, rather have an Islamic discussion. If you want to get her to like newspaper, then try to find something that interests her. Such as, try to find a news about Hijab. Or try to find news about Muslim women for her.)
10. Be The Best
Always remember the words of Allah's Messenger (Pbuh):
"The best of you are those who treat their families the best. And I am the best amongst you to my family."
Try to be the best! In conclusion: Never forget to make Dua to Allah to make your marriage successful. And Allah ta'ala knows best!
(And once again: Remember she is your garment and you are her garment, so hide her faults and mistakes. Learn to forgive her. Also communicate a lot with her family. It really makes a difference if husband communicates with his in laws. It helps both husband's and wife's family to share a beautiful relationship. Respect her parents and show your love to her family. This will inspire her to love and respect your family.)
Spend lots of time praying to Allah swt. Do fast often even if it is not Ramadan. Fasting brings patience and taqwah. Lead her in the prayer. There is nothing better than praying together. Remember Allah, so that Allah remembers you
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