A FOOD FOR THOUGHT FOR FEMALE CHAUVINISTS

By Umer Amir Khan

            Rights of women, atrocities against women and women in Pakistan are the acrimoniously debated topics prevailing in our society now days. Female chauvinists, with pointing fingers at masculine breed, are advocating pugnaciously that men are responsible for all the pain and misery that women in our society are subjected to. Gradually, women of Pakistan are starting to believe that they are the oppressed sex and the only cause for this persecution is the unjust, oppressive critter who is known as Man. Men are divided, ranging from those who are turning a complete deaf air to Feminist chants to the ones who are advocating Feminist views. However, it is this scribers observation that by only understanding the basis of Male and Female psychologies and respecting their complete different personalities, we can proceed towards a solution.

If Science is Man, then Art is Women. One of the most beautifully sketched creation of God, this master piece is blessed with fragile heart, affectionate soul and a sentimental and demonstrative allure. This does not mean woman is an artist. An artist strives for extremes. Woman is an Art, she lives on extremes. From a soft fragile heart to a gritty cold palisade, from benignant and selfless love to covetous, devilish hatred, from complete submission to rebellious denials, from out-bursting with pleasure to shriveling in emotional set backs and losses; women has a tendency far more greater than men to switch to extremes. Female's sensual receptive system, although not as strong as Masculine system, is far more superior in sensitivity and responsiveness. That is why women are more prone to be swept away by palpable elations and materialistic pleasures. If you are finding it hard to accept these claims, just observe how music, flamboyant colors, pretentious clothes, lust in wealth, sex, love excites them. Although men are also attracted towards these things but females simply get high.

Males, naturally delineated to rationally approach life are far more emotionally stable than females. That is why females often reckon males as dry and insipid. They are physically stronger and have the natural tendency to bear hardships and tribulations, which can be reflected, from their personalities. They appear rough, tough, dry and enjoy a genre of japery and light-heartedness that is completely different from those that their female counterparts enjoy. The traits they are blessed with are imminent to survive in world that is not a fantasy drive through a dreamland but a hardcore journey through a tempestuous terrain. These conditions make them thick skin and emotionally numb at times and females have to bear the ferocity of this frustrated human being.

There is a manly secret that I would like to share with females. A baby boy opens his eyes in the tender arms of his mother and grows up under the angelic shade of eternal love. However, as he grows up, the nature starts to prepare him to face the real tempestuous world, which is far more different than his pleasant home. World that has never been Utopia. It is a dry barren road that works on the principal of survival of the fittest. The sweet tender boy has to learn the ways of a man to be a man. However, his inner-self keeps on craving for the return of innocent sweet old-days. He desires to rediscover his tender and sentimental dimension. He wants to be close to females who are the only one who carry the pieces of puzzles that will complete him. Female is a source of relief for him, similarly as mama used to be when he was a little boy.

I am sure that by now you will be wondering where this scriber is heading with these elaborate sketches of Males and Females. It is only when we understand who are fighting we can understand what are they fighting for. The premier cause for this scuffle that has haunted humanity for centuries is a simple one. Unfortunately it still prevails, even in the educated and well to do circles of our country. It is the "ignorant denial of accepting each other as completely different beings" and "trying to perceive others according to their frame of mind" that forms the basis of majority of problems that both sexes have to face. Furthermore it is lack of comprehension of the "˜psychological demands' and "˜intricacies of internal world of opposite sex' that result in animosities, bitterness and blame shifting.

Males and Females equally contribute to the problem of gender bias and portraying Males, as the only cause of problem is fallacious and misleading. I totally agree that women have been raped, brutally killed, oppressed and deprived of rights. But there are fatalities at the masculine camp also, about whom no body wants to talk about. There is a long list of ruined lives, wasted talents, shaken personalities, criminals, serial killers and tyrants who are venomously crafted by the tender hands of females. It is a two-way war going on. Those advocating women rights are themselves ignorant of men rights who are also suffering. It should be understood that peace of one is the peace of other.

As this realization is spreading among the masses that without women development and contribution Pakistan cannot progress in 21^st century, conditions for women in Pakistan are changing. It is an established fact that as the hardcore machinery of the world will always require MANPOWER, similarly the soft-core machinery (the domestic industry) will always require WOMANPOWER. However, the integrating sectors of these industries can utilize the talents of both, equally and efficaciously. Women can be as useful as men in Education, Services Sector, Banking, Research and Development Organizations, Electronic and Print Media. A lot of women have joined these organizations and are proving their intellect there. Unfortunately a large number of these women are creating predicaments for their male contemporaries. It is not through their performance but through their way of existence that is point of objection.

Young women, not willing to leave their feminine traits and also working in close collaboration with men is equivalent to integrating fire and water in one box. Colorful dovetail clothes, captivating make-ups and hair styles, heartiest laughs, redolent aromas are neither improving the image of females in the society nor regaining them the respect for which they have been struggling for centuries. Men, who are in desperate search of Women not only for sexual needs but also for emotional well-being are detrimentally affected by their presence.

Majority of men in Pakistan come from a value-ridden society. No matter how much low and weak we have turned into, yet the roles of Mother, Sister and Cousin are still revered. However, venomous lust starts to pollute their minds. Females might think it is low, but for men this is an inbuilt natural weakness. Apart from losing focus in their work, they start to loose respect and sanctity for females by discussing shameful and obscene comments about their female colleagues and cannot stop this erotic chain reaction even in their domestic lives. Everybody enjoys talking about western women. Don't they know how many bawdy remarks and offensive taunts western women bear everyday? How many rapes and fornications are part of western daily life? Above all, how rapidly the disease of incest is eating up their domestic infrastructure. Can we afford these conditions in our corporate culture? Are females of Pakistan ready to turn into plastic dolls? Are females willing to lose their respect and dignity in the name of fake liberation?

It must be realized that in the name of liberation and modernism, Females are being goaded towards the ditch of disrespect and further suffering. A Pakistani Male, who has to face a storm of all kinds of feelings, including lustrous sexual desires to shame, guilt, inferiority complex and anger in the presence of a so called liberal female of today retaliates. However, it is not the same person but it is the same sex who faces the blows. His frustrations will come out in the form of domestic violence, imposing restrictions on his sister, wife or daughters or he will simply indulge in immoral acts. All these activities will result in weakening of his character that will adversely affect the society.

 Males will not resist in this way in fortnight. However, as the pressure will mount, more or less they will react. As the days turn nuder, we will observe an increase in atrocities against women. From domestic violence to gender bias and deprivation of women rights, the things will not get better but will worsen. The steps that are being encouraged in our society by the so called liberalist, the way media is delineating females and how females are portraying their femininity openly in everyday life is making them more vulnerable and prone to assaults in an economically, politically and intellectually suffocating society.

I would also like to highlight another very imminent and perilous threat that besieges young females. Females, who are being encouraged to expose their feminine traits in public, are acquainting them to an ominous guilty pleasure that will guide them to commit mistakes that are unimaginable. Young blood will commit mistakes that she will carry with her for her whole life. Abortions, multiple divorces, fornications are gifts that a young western women carry with them for the rest of their lives. Can Muslim Pakistani women afford these social or psychological stigmas that will haunt them throughout their lives.

These were the few points that this scriber wanted to convey to the females in general and female chauvinists in particular. Many more words can be written on practices that females of today are adopting that will prove to be very dangerous for them in the coming days but let us save that for some later times. The best solutions to the problems proposed can come from females themselves who understand males. However, this scriber would like to suggest few that he sees as eminent and necessary

1 "“ First of all, women when they go out should try to cover their bodies and charms that create problems for men. The best solutions is abaya(Iranian Style). I am against covering face, as it is not practicable in working environments. Yet women can wear overcoat  and head scarf that will be for their own protection.

2 "“ Secondly, females have to remove this misconception that gender equality demands women to behave like women in working environments. It must be understood that Men, for centuries have trained themselves for the working environment and it is not vice versa. Females have to leave their colorful feminine traits at home if they want to walk with professional man. A butterfly seems odd, flying over a dusty barren road. It is their homes where they should be vivid females and in office dignified female workers.

3 "“ Thirdly, professional women should strictly avoid exploiting Male weaknesses to gain benefits, by using their charms and feminine traits. It will only result in an unjust atmosphere and a strong reaction from male contemporaries.

Females are the color of this universe. (Wajood-e-Zan say hay Kainat main Rang) Females are the resemblance of Earth and Males of the Sky. It is only when they meet we see Sun rising. Pakistani women have to play the most important role in the coming years. The responsibility of not only developing a strong domestic infrastructure, that will produce a prudent and intelligent generation; lies on their shoulders, but they also have to walk with men in developing this nation. They have to contribute in a way that will not hinder men.

This difficult task on dual fronts can only be accomplished by females, who are born with such diverse and intense qualities that males can only dream of. Yes, women have to sacrifice. We(Men) need them. But we want them to make us strong, not weak. They are most welcome in any field they want to be but they have to respect our feelings and try to adapt to the environment rather than changing it. We don't want them to be caged and isolated. Yet, we will not let them exploit our natural weaknesses. Every educated woman should also contribute for the rights of deprived women and make them realize that they can change their world. It is also their mistake that they are still not able to break the shackles of deprivation.

The writer is an Engineer and he is currently doing his Masters from University of Life. He is a freelance contributor and can be contacted at umer-amir@hotmail.com