We Muslims including me and without any exception whatsoever are very strictly ordained to fast each year whether he is male or female, rich or poor, black or white, educated or illiterate, married or unmarried, employed or unemployed and governor or governed and the list can go on and on and one can add as many more categories as one pleases but the gist remains the same that all must fast each year. Who does not know about the holy month of Ramazan will be not more than an absurd question to ask for simply because each one of us including me had been told right in the lap of our mothers that we are to fast and then as we grew up our relatives, teachers, friends and neighbors and alike too had told us the same what our beloved mothers advised? I can say with full might and authority and none can deny the fact that till this point of time some of us had not been fasting but why and how is the unanswered question?

Now since holy month of Ramazan is commencing, we will notice that far too many people, including me as well, will be hosting Iftar parties, not necessarily the hosts are fasting too, and inviting as many people as possible and this continues till the end of the month. All those who earn either through employment or business or both feel it almost obligatory to host at least one Iftar party if not more and this I have myself practiced and noticed not only back home in Pakistan but also in Saudi Arabia where I worked 1976-78 and in Kuwait where I moved in  1978. Practically speaking, hardly there is any significant difference between what had been in Pakistan and Saudi Arabia or for that matter even Kuwait. On the face of it, hosting an Iftar is an event to invite people to eat and drink but it is not that simple as it is written or even thought of to be honest and though I am not that experienced and groomed on the subject but nevertheless I must pronounce without any reluctance and reservation that it is hell of a job and there are always very strong chances that despite dishing out quite hefty money, the host instead of earning praise for hosting Iftar may pocket life remembering insult instead.

There are far too many difficulties, problems and constraints to hold an Ifar and I will touch just the few of such impediments which are commonly faced by all whether it is me, you or others so that my point of view can be understood in quite crystal clear terms devoid of any ambiguity and doubts. If not annoying, I may quip that most of you who have read me to this point must be guessing that money should be the first problem, if not the only problem, I am going to highlight over here but it is not true though money is money and its importance, or for that matter its influence, simply can not be ignored and or under estimated whatsoever. However, who can be invited and who can be ignored is not the only most puzzling and taxing question for me but even for you, I bet?

Let me narrow down it down and must be very specific and dogmatic in my approach in preparing the list of invitees and once I have done this paragraph I am sure you will be with me and not against me unless you are biased and prejudiced. VIPs and elite of the town get an edge over even the first degree relatives so at least two VIPs be tapped if not more to add due pomp and show to the event otherwise it is just waste of time and money to host Iftar without attendance of true men of prominence. How will I get the VIPs is a top secret effort and I am not supposed to expose it to the readers. Relatives get the first preference and can not or should not be disowned and you will be wondering as to why do I need to mention when every one knows that relative is relative and I do agree with you without even raising eye brows what to talk of criticizing you on the point but still there are many slips between a cup and a saucer to start with. In my case, I am not only married but have a large family as well where none but relatives from both paternal and maternal side are to be invited in the very fist instance. It is my good luck that I have many aunts and uncles from both sides and at least it is not possible for me arrive at a decision as to which maternal uncle, or for that matter, which paternal aunt be invited or forgotten?  My position becomes too awkward and complicated because all of my uncles and aunties are married resulting in that can I ignore say maternal cousin(s) and, or for that matter, paternal nephew(s)? Who to be preferred and over whom, so far as my in-laws are concerned, and Allah bless them all who are not less than almost a platoon so please help me in selecting the invitees keeping in mind that I have neither intention nor capacity to offend my wife, the only one I have for so many long years. The next hurdle is that of friends where I have variety of them namely fast friends, rich friends, new friends and or just friends, (boy friends and girl friends not applicable to me) to mention, a few categories but the question is whom to pick and whom to drop. What about office colleagues who are meeting daily and that too for quite some time but can all be invited and if not then how many and who are the luckiest ones? Who can ignore bosses and ever since primarily I am an employee and not an employer so it equally applies to me as well? I have over heard that some of us, particularly those who are at odds with boss, wait whole long year to not only invite the boss but also elevate him as guest of honor at an Iftar to square up the unpleasantness and bitterness between cropped up the two. The magic wand has paid back, some time even over paid, as the boss had who had been daggers drawn eventually promoted the host hence perhaps I am not mistaken to construe that at times, Iftar is not a bad bargain and those who are in docks may try it during this blessed month unless they are their own enemies.

There are some other invitees too which I purposely did not include in the above paragraph because they are categorized under supplementary list but still at least I do not have cheeks to ignore them altogether. In all fairness they are those who I am to meet and can not avoid them, even if I attempt so hence to me it is an act of prudence not folly to get them around at Iftar party. The complex where I live has number of other occupants whom I meet very often if not daily. My next door neighbor though works in shifts but yet she greets me as and when we cross each other so she has an inborn right on me to include her as an invitee. The couple which lives on a different floor but their car parking lot is next to me hence we greet as and when we meet and this very fact as such obliges me not to ignore them either. The bank officers which very often agree to my request to advance loan are not less than VIPs for me so it is next to impossible not to invite them, at least, annually if not in between. Some of the most respected the teachers who once taught me all along right from primary to university do have an inborn claim upon me otherwise I had not learnt the art to write it so they must grace the Iftar. It will not be only blunder but folly not to invite my former bosses because who knows when I need again to serve under them but how can they remember me unless today also I honor them like honored them when they were my bosses. The dictum saying that history repeats itself is not only known to me but also I profusely believe in it and, therefore, I simply can not shut my eyes on them. Then there are others also who are very important to me because they are those whom I am to meet as and when face some crisis and none knows when do I need and whom so it is in my own interest to keep myself known to them and the shortest and easiest route is not to forget the authorities of the are where I live hence police officer, medical doctor (skip dentist), postmaster and telephone exchange manager to mention the least must be included as honorable invitees for Iftar. I think this is the bare minimum number of people I must invite this year too. Sorry, for interruption or intrusion, my list of invitees will be incomplete and meaningless or more correctly it will not be less than sinful if none is invited from media for live tv coverage followed by press photographers excluding news report writers. Seeing is more effective than reading so why to trouble news reporter and instead maximum tv channels’ crews  punctuated with press photographers be brought in to cover Iftar and flash it on tv channels, newspapers and magazines otherwise if the city dwellers, at least, if not the whole population do not know about Iftar then my very purpose is defeated.

Needless to mention this list what you have read in just few minutes is the brain child of I, wife, daughter, in-laws, relatives and some friends who were even senior and junior to me. It consumed my some what nine weeks to prepare, add and subtract the name of invitees and once it had been finalized by the junior team, it was submitted to a group of seniors to vet it. They did not approve it in the first instance rather they divided the list amongst themselves in a manner that each one of the senior committee member took one segment of invitees for his or her evaluation and like wise opinions were pooled up to arrive at a commonly agreed  names.

This is very much obnoxious to pen that once after so much hectic efforts I succeeded in finalizing the list, a new problem oozed out and I am as blank as any one else as to what to do now when it is becoming almost impossible to host this year’s annual gathering during the blessed month. I measured my whole house excluding kitchen and rest rooms so as to calculate as to how many souls can be seated in my house for Iftar and my goodness, the house could not accommodate more than 25% of all the invitees. Question, how can I offend 75% just because of 25% if my house is the venue for Iftar? In the back of my mind, I had thought to that by inviting people at my house I can impress and prove that VIPs and many notables are within my reach. The invitees can see with own eyes as to what furniture, fixture and decoration pieces etc I own (rental not excluded) but it all fizzles out if due to paucity of space the gathering can not be done at my house. The next place could be banquet hall of any of the 5 star hotels of the city and I am very much pleased to pen that each one of the hotels had spacious reception halls for the purpose and I am completely relieved of the headache otherwise my search for proper hall for Iftar had been extended to the neighboring cities if not countries. I asked the hotels to quote me the money I pay them for the function and it was so nice of them to propose seven different options, of course from high to low prices, but none of the prices could be afforded by me for very obvious reasons. What I do now when there is no time in between to apply for bank loan to host Iftar?

Cancellation or postponement to next year could be the only answer, under the given specific situation, but it exposes me to each and every one including my bosses who are already after me to get rid off. How can I keep my job when not inviting my bosses to Iftar this month is the most important question of my life if one can realize. The whole population will be hosting Iftar and their coverage can be seen on tv screens and daily newspapers, minus me, means what other than that had I also had money I had gone for it but now it proves, whether I like it or not, that I just show off and brag of affluence though I am none other than a broken pauper. Moreover, there is yet another problem which has no answer too and that is if people invite me to Iftars, I wish I am not forgotten by all, then how being money less I can invite them in reciprocation. Perhaps, rather in fact, to be honest, the only most prudent answer to the issue is that I must regret saying I am already invited on the date just to keep up my face.

In conclusion, I am requesting both male and female, whether known or unknown, to very kindly rescue me at such a critical juncture when I am neck deep in hot waters and can not invite my boss to Iftar for the reasons explained above but at the same time I do not want to waste the opportune of inviting my employer on Iftar to keep going and avoid the disaster to be unemployed on Eid which is just knocking. Thanks for your nobility.

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With my honest and solemn prayers

Sincere Iqbal Hadi Zaidi / Kuwait / Tel + Fax (00965) 23715102 / Mobile (00965) 66229897 / zaidixdiplomat@hotmail.com