PIA carries two passengers in plane's toilet

KARACHI: Pakistan International Airlines (PIA) adds another feather in its cap by carrying two passengers in its flight from Lahore to Karachi in toilet due to non-availability of seats, Geo News reported Tuesday.

The captain of the national flag carriers' flight PK 303 accommodated two passengers in the plane's toilet, as all the seats in the plane were occupied and there was no more seat left for them.

Through introduction of its amazing new service for its valued passengers, PIA really does justice to its slogan 'Great people to fly with)'. 

                                Love seats not toilet seats in PIA

On 15^th Feb, 2012 it was reported in newspapers that our national flag carrier had carried two passengers in toilet from Lahore to Karachi on its flight PK 303 and on the face of it looked not only a bit funny and hilarious and but even annoying since different people have commented differently from many countries of the world as one can read their remarks posted at International The News.

The news is that there was so much rush of passengers on that flight that the two passengers under reference had not been flown from Lahore to Karachi had they not been accommodated in toilets is to be discussed from different angles as I view it. First of all we must be very much open and broad minded, truly unbiased, completely neutral and emphatically judicious in our approach to read the news and then only pen whatever one feels like otherwise our comments or suggestions on the subject are likely to be condemned and not appreciated.

Isn’t it a failure on the part of PIA counter staff at Lahore airport to issue more boarding passes to the passengers than the capacity of the aircraft plying as PK 303? To the best of my knowledge and belief, counter staff doe know or ought to know what is the seating capacity of the aircraft for which they are issuing boarding passes and once they know it then simple arithmetic will tell them how many can be flown on the flight. I am sure each and everyone including simple brute too employed by PIA and deputed to man check-in counters at airport knows not only how to count number of seats of the aircraft but also knows how to count as to how many boarding passes have been issued for the concerned flight. Why and how it could be counted and detected at the counter? How two extra persons were issued boarding passes to go right into the flight and then only PIA staff could know that they are extra passengers?

Once these two extra passengers were in the aircraft but eventually had no seats to occupy, the pilot being the chief boss of the flight could have very rightly and easily off loaded them which was within his vested legitimate authority and none could even raise eye brows what to talk of questioning the pilot as to why did he send them off the flight. I was neither on the flight nor there is any mention of the fact in the newspapers but my wild guess is that the pilot must have asked these two passengers what to do now when not only an unpleasant but very much awkward situation has cropped up for which the pilot cannot be blamed and asked for come what may. The pilot must have asked those two very straight forward questions to decide themselves individually as to which options they want to exercise. Option one to be off loaded and option two to travel in toilet. I am as sure as death that both the passengers must have preferred to travel in toilet instead of being off loaded.

Once they agree to fly while accommodated in toilet the question is as to how the flight coped up with the demand of the passengers who wished to use the toilet facilities on the flight. Call of nature is very much not only natural but unpredictable too and though sometimes some of us if not all of us can forego it for a while if it is not that pressing but who knows it may be other way round too. We cannot rule out the possibility though very much remote to be honest that perhaps none of the passengers whether male or female or even children wished to use the toilet which seems to be very much unlikely. May be all those who wished to use the facility many have been directed to use the toilet of the first class instead. What about if I hint that the two passengers were told that as and when someone knocks at the toilet, you will come out and stay out from the time someone is using the toilet facility? Perhaps under the given situation they had to very much unwillingly agree to such an out-in exercise.

Now let me look at some other brighter points also which normally we regretfully either ignore or shun but I will prove it otherwise. I believe this is very much unprecedented in any case at least for PIA if not other lines of Pakistan and or other countries and I wish PIA applies to get it recorded into Guinness World Records Book and who knows may be it is reckoned. Isn’t it a plus point for PIA? Both the passengers must have not only hugged the pilot but kissed too in appreciation and recognition to his humanitarian gesture to accommodate them in the toilet. How this is not yet another credit for our national carrier? PIA flight completed its journey without experiencing any turbulence and or any operational difficulties because of the weight of two extra passengers accommodated in the toilet. How PIA did not add another father into its cap? PIA’s this flight had earned extra revenue by carrying them in toilet which it had been deprived off had they not been seated on commode. Who wants to snatch away bread and butter? Who does not want to award and decorate the pilot of PK 303 to give us such a new food for our thought? I wish by now he has already not been punished instead. Who is he? I must thank him for providing me an opportune to think differently or more correctly as rationally.

Honest to Allah, each and every Pakistani irrespective of gender; education; income; mother tongue; caste; creed; religion; ethnicity; height; weight and color etc, to mention just a few, whether back home in my beloved Pakistan or for that matter overseas like me knows very well that PIA is incurring heavy losses for many long years though it should earn instead of losing but regretfully the things have not changed. Each government whether ruled by popularly elected people or for that matter in khaki have failed to turn PIA into profitable organization. Many commissions and committees have been formed from time to time wherein top none but top ranking men and women who can rightly be called ‘heavy weights’  were asked to deeply look into the sad plight of PIA and suggest ways and means at least to stop losing if not earning but nothing tangible could be achieved still. Months turned into years which multiplied to decades but PIA could not be revived but why and how is an unanswered question.

Hold your breath for a while as I am going to suggest at my own though I wished I had been appointed to head a committee to suggest how to turn PIA into a profitable venture but alas neither I have push nor pull so there is not even any remote chance for me to be included into any committee or commission which I do accept though with heavy heart. However, being a true patriotic Pakistani I simply cannot continue and keep shut and mum anymore and instead would suggest a completely novel scheme which I can bet on my life will generate huge profits not in months or years or even daily but on each and every flight to be dead honest.

Advertise that now only certified husband and wife with original wedding document called ‘Nikha nama’ (exclude lovers which are many on each flight) can travel in locked toilet within the country only otherwise if they are allowed on international flights too then PIA can be bracketed as a human smuggler so why to disrepute for nothing? Don’t forget to display the notice at the toilet door reading “please do not disturb” which you always place at your hotel room door even when you nap in afternoon and or having food or even engaged in business meeting etc. I can predict with full conviction tinged with authority that people will be crazy to fly in toilets than on normal seats. In just few days only PIA will have to remove all seats and erect toilets instead and rename its flights as Love Flight instead of PK 303 example. PIA can rightly put very high price tag for the couple to pay if travelling in toilet. Money should be calculated on the basis of flight time so the couple pays less if they can be there for a short time but quite naturally they pay more if the flight is Karachi-Islamabad as compared to Karachi-Nawab Shah or Hyderabad fir that matter.

Investment on removing sitting seats and instead providing seats in toilet will eat up PIA losses so dramatically that none had even thought of it. Let me also quip that PIA is not promoting or patronizing immorality or prostitution whatsoever. Certified couple is religiously, legally and morally allowed to what I need not elucidate in any case so what stops PIA at adopt it and turn itself into a profitable venture as against remaining a parasite on the national exchequer which already over burdened in any case. Enough is enough. It is not only very high but ripe time as well that PIA must stand on its own feet which was envisaged when it was introduced decades back and internationally speaking businesses like airline are set up to earn and not lose but one way or the other we have already lost billions in this activity.

Where did I err?

                           *************************

Iqbal Hadi Zaidi / Kuwait