When presence turns curse

This is neither a hearsay nor a fiction but a true story of one of my early ages elderly friend Mr Khan (nom de guerre) who retired as Major from Pakistan Army way back during late 1950s but I met him in Lahore in 1964 while I was MA Political Science student, Pol Sc Dept, PU, Lahore and though many long years have passed since then but still I can very vividly remember my great friend who has taught me life remembering lesson for rest of my life which now I would love to share with you.

It was a very happy coincidence that just per chance I met him at Lahore railway station where he was waiting for a train from Karachi to board and travel to Peshawar while I had come to receive my some relative coming from Karachi by the same train. We both were sitting on a bench on platform number 1 and since the train had not come so we chatted a bit and introduced ourselves and before the train could come we had exchanged our addresses and promised to meet each other later as and when possible. I am a weaker constitution by birth and thus could never ever even think of joining army but nevertheless I was very much impressed by uniform and the medals hung on chest and therefore he being a retired khaki had had impressed me a lot and then on top of it he was my father age in any case so I had to be extra cautious and respectful under all circumstances. He had told me that he is likely to return to Lahore after about two to three months time and then we can meet and I reciprocated in the same spirit.

When my relative came off from the train I told him about Khan and when I was back to my house I told my father about him and he said that he would love to meet him so I was very happy from the point of view that my father did not object and instead appreciated to be known to someone who is as matured and responsible as he himself. I started counting days and was too eager to meet him but days turned into weeks and weeks into fortnights and fortnights into months and surprisingly there was no news from him. I simply could not wait any more so one day I took the address he has given to me and went on cycle to the address he has mentioned in Krishan Nager. After some search and research I was able to locate his house and I knocked the door and some lady answered me from inside asking me to identify myself and what do I want. I told the lady (his wife) about myself and explained to her that we met at railway station for a while couple of months back and she told me that he will be later by another month or so. I asked her if she could kindly give me his present address facilitating me to correspond with him if not annoying and she very happily gave me an address in Peshawar to correspond with him.

I was too excited to pen my very first letter to him reminding him as to where did we meet and showed my greater interest to meet him as and when he comes back. After few days time I received very pleasing reply from him confirming that the moment he returns we will meet. My father has told me to invite him for dinner at our house if he agrees to it. I then wrote him next letter indicating what my father has proposed and in reply he wrote back that he will invite us instead at his house. Anyway there was no competition between us about dinner so I just waited for some more days for him to return. It was his true greatness that and one day I received a letter from him telling me about the train name, time and date of arrival back to Lahore and I was at the station to greet him along with his wife and school going children. He was quite hale and hearty and looked to be in good spirits to be amongst his family after few months’ absence from them. We agreed that on next weekly off he will be meeting my father at my house.

Honestly speaking I was quite surprised to see so young children of Khan at the railway station but being too junior in age I dared not ask him about it. During the discussion he told me that he being the eldest in the family had to defer his marriage till his younger sisters are married and by the time all the four sisters were married he was late to marry but what he could do otherwise. Now since he has retired he has practically nothing to do outside the house hence he had no choice but to stay back in the house all the day long. Occasionally he will leave the house but for a purpose and not otherwise. He had quite happy retirement life because during his employment he had built his own house so he had not to worry about paying any rent while his monthly pension paid regularly by Pakistan Army was quite sufficient to meet his and his family’ day today expenses. He told me that he knows some of his colleagues both senior and junior who did not own a house at the time they left khaki so from this angle he was truly very fortunate to be honest otherwise he too had been in some trouble like others.

However, despite this all he was facing very typical and untold situation and he hardly had an answer to it which was killing him from inside but it was way beyond him to fight it out. Khan voice had choked a bit which was too disturbing for me at least to hear from someone who is my father age. Major told me that ever since he has retired from army and has no other engagement so whole day he is in the house which in turn to some greater extent has diminished his parental authority on his children. He very plainly explained that in case when the parents are outside the house and if the children become some mischievous then the servant or other occupants of the house warn the children that when mother or father return then they will be told as to what the children did and hence the mother or the father will shout at the children to behave properly. Khan took a long breath to explain that since he is all the time at the house, his wife is deprived of to frighten the children to say that she will complain against the children when the father comes. He did realize that his continual presence at his house before his children has proved to be detrimental to his authority so he devised a plan to leave the house some time for a while so that his absence could restore back his authority. He often left the house for no reason and rhyme and returned after sometime just to facilitate his wife so that she can say with authority to the children that she will complain against them when the father returns him.

It is proved beyond any doubt that such like all time presence of the father before his school going children does snatch away his authority hence Khan tips other fathers who are bracketed like him to keep off from their younger children to some extent to avoid facing the awkward situation what he is facing now and that too at such late stage of retired life.

Iqbal Hadi Zaidi / Kuwait